No Conclusions
This is the poster that advertised my first solo show. It was in France. I was living there and loving it! At the beginning of my time there, I found a studio and would go once a week to participate in live model sessions, immersing myself in the local art scene, and producing charcoal drawings by the dozens.
One day, the owner of the studio invited me up to her apartment for an aperitif. My loose, gestural style had piqued her interest and she wanted to know more about my work and life plans. It was one of those moments, one of those conversations, that stays with you for a lifetime. I was nervous. I didn’t know what to expect and my only hope was that my French was good enough to have a meaningful conversation with her. It was during the golden hour, that time in the afternoon where the sun is sparkling, daytime activity has ended and dinner has yet to begin. We sat at a table in the middle of her apartment. Her large, open space was tastefully filled with the kind of hodgepodge eclecticism that only a weathered artist can pull off. I immediately liked her even more. She listened. I told her that I didn’t want to take any photographs during my time in France. Instead, I wanted to paint a visual record of my life there. She offered me a solo show. We drank. We laughed. Her teeth were rotting but her smile was inviting. I thoroughly enjoyed my time there.
After that meeting, I got to work. As it turned out, both my roommate and one of my good friends wanted the experience of posing nude for one of my paintings. This was a gift. I added them into the compositions and posed them to achieve my goal of using my art as my memory. I completed the series and started to advertise the show. We hung this poster up everywhere and it got mixed reviews. I even had a stranger accuse me of all kinds of negative ideas when she found out that I was the artist. Her interpretation of my painting was very dark so she assumed that must have been my intent. I thought about this observation for a long time and in the end decided to be flattered. My ultimate goal as an artist, after all, is to inspire and provoke a reaction. The more visceral the reaction, the better. I paint open-endedly. I want to put ideas out there, to challenge, to observe. I want to start conversations and questions. I don’t want to be blunt or to hammer home an idea. I want my work to be interpreted. If you feel something after seeing something, that’s success!
The show was awesome and I still remember how crowded it was. Ultimately, I decided to stand still and just watch. At one point, one of my models started talking about the paintings that she was in and what that experience was like for her. She ended up with a group of people who started following her because she was the best docent around and they wanted to participate in the tour. It was amazing.
I try to write the way I paint. Jotting down vignettes and snippets of ideas and waiting for them to incite interpretation. I’m indirect in my paintings’ messages and I’m indirect in the conclusions that can be drawn from my writing. Feel free to bring your own experiences to my narrative. Feel free to think about your home, your experiences, your family, your kids, your time in social distancing, and your creative pursuits. Feel free to challenge my approaches and question my observations. This is what I hope my writing does, just like my paintings have done. That’s what the woman who saw my poster did all of those years ago and that’s what makes her memorable today. Be bold with your reactions and be vocal with your ideas. That’s what makes us all memorable.
